When there were rumours that a rookie was set to take the circuit by storm, I became glued to the dumbbox every Sunday, as I watched Lewis Hamilton drive like fire.

A few fumbles after what had been an excellent opening season left Hamilton without the big prize.

Then the crap really started:

It went down kinda like this:

Ferrari: They stole our top secrets.

Mclaren: No, we didn’t, you’re just jealous of Lewie the wonder boy.

Bernie Ecclestone: I’m an ugly evil midget, and have lots of money, ha ha ha ha. Watch my snotty kids present bullshit segments.

Alonso: I am muy sexy, pay me attention, pay me attention, pay me attention.

This went on for months and Mclaren came out worst, with a whopping fine. (100 million dollars)

Bernie Ecclestone is still an ugly evil midget.

Alonso switched to Renault.

Ferrari has the best car this year so will win unless something startling happens.

And I havent even tuned in.