I picked up a copy of Daft Punk’s first feature, Electroma.

It was quite painful, I was hoping that Gondry’s influence had rubbed off on them, but the 1 and a bit hour wonder wasn’t a complete write off.

There are some amazing images in this world where two robot misfits attempt to be human.

But these moments are few and far between, the tedious scenes, like the two robots walking or driving make up the bulk of the film.

The blurb on the back of the DVD made me giggle.

“Destined to become Cult viewing for generations not yet born” Observer Music Monthly.

Wowser. 

Not quite Mr Hyperbole Observer Man.

Maybe cult viewing for alternative android fetus’s not yet born.

The whole thing would have been great if :

They cut out the reeeeaaalllly drrraaaawwwwn ouutttt atmospheric shots

and

The robots communicated in Daft Punk synth beep noises, and it was translated into english subtitles.

Anyway, I found this, an edited version, it shows all the good bits, but the youtuber added a soundtrack to it, the original was deathly silent. ( As a film feature it’s crappy, but as a music video, it’s a cracker.)

Thousands of English schools have adopted that good old tradition of having a Prom at the end of High School. Suit hire shop’s tills ring continuously, and girls and mothers can be seen in Tk Maxx seeing whether they can bag a designer bargain, and limo drivers smile with glee.

And who can complain, America has quite happily loaned us their custom’s for years now.

Youth Gun Crime

Crack Cocaine

Child hood obesity

Reality Television

Music Television

The Prom.

See, nothing to worry about there at all is there ?

Let the Children play.

Wait - Dude Where’s our culture?

Angelina Jolie, is a decent actress, she’s beautiful and seems quite quirky in comparison to other mega stars, but the media coverage over her pregrancy, is absolutely insane. Most of the offending newsies are posting like they are expecting the second coming.

“The birth is imminent “

“She’s given birth”

“No wait, she hasnt”

“Two baby girls with wings and ninja abilities “

“Just at hospital, for routine check up”

It’s so strange to watch the international media go into hyperdrive, it’s like group of bumblebee’s that dive for the same flower simultaneously, sucking the life out of it, and stinging each other accidentaly in the frenzy.

Women in the UK generally earn 12% less than their male counterparts in the UK, (according to statistics which I find almost impossible to quantify) but to be perfectly honest, the wider gaps between willy wanker and busty galore are at the top end of the scale in management and executive positions.

The minimum wage in the UK doesn’t discriminate against gender lines, if you are under-skilled or just unlucky, it doesn’t matter whether you are a chick, a prick or a chick with a dick because you are still going to earn exactly the same crappy hourly rate as your counterparts.

Motions are currently being passed to allow Female Bishops in the Church of England. The vast majority of voters supported the notion to let women share the main stage. Although the motion is far from a foregone conclusion, a group of rogue bishops are boycotting the move, on the grounds that because Jesus didn’t choose female disciples to spread the word that it shouldn’t be allowed now.

Women are natural preachers, think about how many time’s your matriarch dealt you a crippling sermon when you brought home that skank from the laundromat, or decided it would be really funny to bury your cousins hamster alive, or even every Sunday dinner when you left all those greens, and she told you about all the little African children who are dying for a Brussel sprout.

And the thing is, you listened, maybe you stopped listening, but at first they had you? And it had nothing to do with religion.

The attitudes displayed by the rogue bishops are exactly why the church is losing benchwarmers faster than Mugabe can rig an election, by refusing to acknowledge the changing nature of society, they are losing their connection with people and no misguided rock out at the church social is going to change that in a hurry.

Sam Taylor Wood, an artist who is married to the art dealer Jay Joplin included the ( Is he gay or not? ) actor Hayden Christensen in her portraits of men crying, it was an excellent image, but he happens to be an exceptional cryer.

He manages to be masculine and vunerable at the same time, but Taylor Wood isnt such a smarty because Hayden’s been crying on film well before she decided that he was lucky enough to be glanced upon by her extra long lens.

He had his first major film role in The Virgin Suicides, that was in 1999 and has been crying on camera since.

His role in Star Wars is the best example, his inner turmoil… my god…the dark side.

He didn’t really cry alot in Jumper, and since it seems to be his special move, the film was as hollow as an empty coco pops box.

But in Awake, there was much more manly weeping, and his performance did kind of stand out.

To conclude, when he isn’t shedding salt, he’s a bit of a bore.

But for that kind of money, I’d happily cry forever too.

It’s just awful in so many ways. I cant even begin to describe : So blatant, unoriginal, vile, uninspired, somebody please hand this noose to the marketing manager for Corsodyl.

Sideboob, tushie and for what, tooth decay ? ?

Norway’s transport minister recently scuppered plans for the legalisation of private plates declaring them to be both fancy and a symbol of vanity.

It’s a refreshing stance when you compare it with the current state of car’s behinds in the UK.

Whilst waiting for the traffic lights to turn, your stomach might when you are confronted with yet another clever attempt or mind boggling plate.

Offending examples include

Shaza1

Dhes4life

Bi5sexual

and so on.

Why not just save your money by attaching a small hand made sign to the back of your rear windscreen.

It could go like this -

” I am blatantly seeking your attention, and want you and everybody who passes my vehicle to know that : (Insert phrase most appropriate)

I am bisexual

My name is Tracy

I have a large penis

I smoke weed

I am a member of a particular religious sect

I work a Computer Tech/Medic/Hairdresser/Long Distance Lorry driver……

Zimbabwean opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai has now pulled out of the election race due to continuing violence towards his supporters from Robert Mugabe and his follow Zanu-Pf party members.

Tsvangirai won the election’s legitimately but dictator Mugabe refused to accept the results and embarked on a hate/re election campaign.

Imagine, if Hilary Clinton refused to accept Obama’s nomination (unbelievable, I know) and then enlisted an army of henchmen to beat down anybody who didn’t tick the right box at the ballot.

What does the UN’s Ban Ki Moon have to say about the recent events…

” a deeply distressing development.”

Whoa, I’m sure that Mugabe is sitting on his throne made out of baby seals testicles crapping himself with the potential wrath of the UN.

There is however talk of sanction’s. The freezing of the offender’s asset’s being the most debated.

But right now, the victim’s of Mugabe, would probably prefer to see a more drastic set of sanction’s being put into force, for example. the restriction of blood into the area where monster Mugabe should have a heart.

I went round to see a friend and she was watching the last few episodes of Sex and The City, in preparation for her holiday delayed visit to see the movie. I caught the tail end of an episode where Samantha, the horny older one, was giving a talk about breast cancer, and then she took her wig off, and then other women followed, and for a moment, I thought that I was watching The Witches, by Roald Dahl.

My friend who was gushing at the time, didnt see the resemblance at all, and apparently I am a very bad person for making the correlation.

Anyhow, I’ve spent the last few day’s generally thinking about where exactly I want to be. Having left London a year ago to return to my home town, my days have begun to blur into one, and I’m feeling that it’s almost time to leave for good.

You can call it what you want, but when I read Generation X at 16, I giggled at the thought of the mid twenties slump, ” I mean really, how funny, men have mid life crisis when they are forty..” ( So wise I know)

And here I am, 25 in November and all of a sudden I feel bombarded with question’s, the most annoying of which is Where am I going with my life!

To be fair, I’m honestly not worried about getting older, because even at 25, I am still being i’d on a regular for ciggies.

But, it seems that Coupland did stumble across something, because right now, i’m contemplating giving up all potential career objectives to take a Mcjob and go and live in the desert somewhere.

And apparently, I’m not alone.

Sky high house prices, social decay, shitty graduate job market’s and hyper news which constantly squawks about the energy crisis or future food crisis’s cant help but make you feel chipper. ( A sub zero nuclear winter, working in a call centre and arriving home to your podartment for a feast of soylent green).

Personally, I think it might have something to do with American pop culture impregnating our poor little brains with illusions of grandeur, think Cribs. ( I live in this amazing Malbu Estate and you live in a flat in  Rotheram)

Either way, there is a cure to this modern mind fuckery, and it worked for me and it can work for you too.

Realise that there isnt a routeplanner for life and even if there was it would be just as buggy as the AA’s

And only somebody with the mind of a child would write this sort of nonsense.